The Saloons

Why follow The Saloons.... 

 

Next year, Hardly Strictly. Year after, Grammy. Then a fall from grace followed by arguably our best work to date. World tours of course. I'll go to rehab once to keep the band relevant between records. Will be known for many things not the least if which will be as the band that broke country in Japan.  Jeff tweedy duet on the third record after an opening slot on his solo tour. Our bus driver is a women named Barbra. She loves ice hockey and single malt scotch. We all have crushes on her and discuss it at length between cities and fifths of expensive bourbon. At the peak of our popularity we decide to tour the cities of our youth. This gets great press. Chuck goes to burning man. Stephen keeps reminding us how awesome everything is and almost singlehandedly legalizes weed through several grass roots campaigns he funds with his Saloons spoils. Dawn becomes the first women stand up bass player ever to appear on the cover of guitar magazine. Nathan fully remodels our tour bus because he can. Kyle  and I gets a lot more tattoos. Eben becomes an ordained minister. This makes us drink more which in turn makes him drink. This is when, as the kids put it, shit gets real. We never break up but take breaks to work on other projects. The Loons and The Salons both become critical darlings in their genres. (Punk and synth pop respectively). 24 years from now we are inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame. We play one song. Whiskey Protect My Heart.  - Higgins